Envy, Blame, Shame, Guilt. Appealing, huh? Who wants to talk about these emotions, let alone feel them? Yet, not talking about them keeps us in the experience of these emotions, either consciously or unconsciously.
Part of our human tendency based on our fight-flight system is to survey the environment for potential harm. We are in a constant state of evaluation. Check it out for your self to see if it is true for you. See if you are constantly evaluating things as good/bad, right/wrong, pretty/ugly, etc.
All this analysis, categorization, etc requires one process. That one process is comparison. Comparison in and of its self is not good or bad. It is part of this human experience, and it is necessary. However, what can unknowingly arise out of comparison is envy. Envy arises from comparison when we have a belief at some level there is a lack within us or with what we have. It could be we think that we are not smart enough, or we don’t have enough charisma. What usually arises from comparison in the setting of “not enough” is envy. Whether we recognize the envy or not, this leads to more discomfort as blame, guilt and/or shame arise.
So what to do when we are aware of comparison’s slippery slope?
First of all recognition of the pattern is huge and worthy of a standing ovation! Awareness of our thoughts is cultivated through meditation! Then once we are aware of what is going on in the mind, it can be named. Simply naming “comparison” breaks the pattern and halts it from going into envy, blame, shame, and guilt. Then perhaps the inquiry of “Is this a necessary comparison?” Then ask “Is it true?” This is from “The Work” by Byron Katie. I highly recommend Byron Katie’s books and courses as a way of getting to reality or truth of our perceptions. Here is the link: www.thework.com.
At first this seems laborious, but it becomes a simple and quick process to support us in moving beyond envy, shame, guilt, and blame into love and understanding that our hearts our truly dying to flow. Blessings on the journey!
Need support in the process? Consider connecting with me today!