A key decision is a decision we make often unconsciously about how the world operates or about how we can get our needs met. We often make most of our key decisions not only unconsciously, but we make them in our childhood. While that is natural, it doesn’t serve us and often contributes to our difficulties in life.
For as Carl Jung said “Thoroughly unprepared, we take the step into the afternoon of life. Worse still, we take this step with the false presupposition that our truths and our ideas will serve us hitherto. But we cannot live the afternoon of our lives according to the program of life’s morning, for what was great in the morning will be little in the evening, and what was true in the morning, at evening will have become a lie.”
For example, my nieces and sister stayed at my house recently. My eldest niece has a tendency to feel anxious when out of her element. So as bedtime came closer she started to complain her stomach hurt and she didn’t feel well. She was to share a room with her younger sister that night, but she begged her mom to share her room as she didn’t feel well. Of course, my sister agreed that would be best. All the sudden she was acting completely normal again and was dancing about. She never ever did get sick and the next day felt great.
So perhaps the key decision my eldest niece made may have been that “If I am sick, I can get my need of maternal comfort met.” Again this is unconsciousness. Yet, if it continues into adulthood, which it often does, rather than asking for what she needs from her mother or anyone else, she will act unwell, then ask. This potentially sets the stage for a lot of unnecessary acting on her part, plus perhaps even suffering for her and others.
Asking for what we need and want is risky business no doubt. Yet, often times what we ask for in a kind and open way is granted. Consider looking at how you get your needs for comfort, security, love, and connection met. Ask yourself, “Is there a prerequisite, or a justification, I need to have in order to meet my need for love, comfort, security, and connection? If so, does it involve a key decision?” This is deep inner work that will transform your life from surviving to thriving, so please do this with a supportive friend or counselor or coach.
My best to you!