I recall seeing a list of masculine and feminine traits about 10 years ago. I remember identifying with all the masculine traits, while feeling deep aversion to the feminine traits.
Feminine traits commonly identified are: receptivity, empathy, flexibility, sensuality, nurturing, affectionate, tenderness, patience, sharing, loving, expressive and creative. Masculine traits commonly identified are: freedom, logical, focused, passionate, independent, strong, disciplined, confident, competitive, and accomplished.
Seeing these lists, I then went on to read a very foreign concept for me at the time. The concept put forth by the author was that despite our gender, we all have masculine and feminine traits within us. When these traits are honored and balanced within, we have happier relationships, improved creativity and more well-being. However, when out of balance, these traits can lead to the opposite.
What is even more troublesome is if we are perpetually displaying what is unnatural to us, the end result is inner havoc, even if we have external success. Allow me to use myself as an example…my inner nature is feminine, that is what is most natural to me. However, in medical school and residency and beyond, feminine traits were disregarded and discouraged.
I learned quickly to thoroughly stuff those and operate from my masculine traits of focus, logic, strength, discipline and independence. While this brought outward success, I was depressed, feared being discovered as a fraud, and felt energetically depleted for it is hard work to suppress your natural self.
Can you relate somehow to this example? So are you feeling confused now?
If so, confusion is good, for as Tony Robbins says, “Confusion means you are at the verge of a break through.” Go on and give yourself permission to be confused, to not know and to observe yourself and all your wildness!