As we move forth in partnership in life, our relationship to one another shifts or changes. Since communication is at the heart of all relationship, it may be helpful to commit to sacred communication as a daily practice. Usually this practice begins in an intimate relationship that is safe and supportive. It is important that both people in the relationship commit to the agreement and that there is a ceremony of some sorts to celebrate the commitment. The ceremony may be a small as a toast or large as a weekend away together.
As sovereign, accomplished people, we agree not to fix one another.
We agree to give personal advice only when asked, while agreeing to witness and acknowledge each other in a manner that supports and uplifts.
We agree to participate in conversation in a way that benefits both of us, sharing our knowledge, wisdom and beliefs without attachment or need to be recognized.
We agree to support each other with unconditional love and compassion balanced with equanimity and accountability.
We mutually honor and respect one another.
We agree when there is a disagreement amongst us that the individuals involve dialogue about it for resolution with the option of involving a neutral third party for support. When there is a disagreement, we feel safe and supported to share our hurt feelings. We know we can ask for a time out that is a defined period of time for us to get perspective and avoid hurting feelings because of reactivity. We acknowledge our desire to react to the other is simply a reaction to our own hurt feelings. We take responsibility for our hurt feelings in a manner that is best for us, which could involve sitting with them in the practice of Tongalan, exercising/body movement, sharing with counselor/coach, etc.
We agree to approach each other as equals with unique expressions in the world.
We acknowledge that if our thoughts, beliefs, opinions, knowledge, or wisdom is questioned, there is no need to become defensive. We acknowledge that the other is simply requesting more information. We agree to respect each other’s opinions, although we need not agree.
We agree to trust one another’s recommendations, hunches, and insights, without necessarily acting upon them. We agree not to take it personally if the other person does not act upon our recommendations, hunches, and insights.
We agree to respect each other’s time.
When we are conversing by phone or in person, we will make our best efforts to remove all distractions as to focus all of our energy on the conversation at hand.
We agree to be honest and truthful, speaking from our hearts
Even when it is painful or uncomfortable. We acknowledge in the speaking of truth that we will be received as best can be by our partner. We acknowledge whatever is revealed is safe and confidential.
We agree that we are spiritual beings having human experiences
Therefore acknowledge we are subject to disagreements, frustration, anger, etc. We agree there will be times when apology and forgiveness are needed. At such times we will respectfully approach each other with the following:
I am sorry.
Please forgive me.
I love you.
We agree that we will not expect an apology back.
However, we will receive an acknowledgement from the recipient that the apology was heard.
Each person has the opportunity to be heard in a safe and supportive environment always. Our feelings are our responsibility although they can be shared. No one else’s feelings or opinions or beliefs are to be taken personally. Each person has the opportunity to heard to their satisfaction.
When a decision is made, we acknowledge it is never permanent, and it is not personal.
We acknowledge that as we grow, gather more information that we can individually and collectively change our minds, and therefore, our decisions. We agree our decisions will serve both of us and the whole as well.
We acknowledge we are all doing the best we can at the time.
We won’t always get it perfect. We commit to open, respectful communication as a practice to honor the Divine within each other and all around us.
Once we feel comfortable and the practice of sacred communication becomes more natural, we can start to take it out to other relationships.