Like it or not, all of our relationships have rules. It is not that our rules are the problem. Rather our unawareness of our rules can create havoc. If love has to be delivered in a particular package for us to be able to receive it, then we have a rule. If you are not sure if this applies, then start to observe in what ways do you feel love. Is it through hugs, gifts, or does your partner need to do something for you without you asking in order for you to feel love?
What gets tricky as we evolve on our spiritual path is bringing the rules out into the open in our relationships. Having discussions about the rules with our loved ones can push buttons. It is challenging to call ourselves to step up and be honest and see what scripts are in place. Yet, it affords the opportunity for immense growth within individual and within the relationship. Then, perhaps new agreements may be made or new scripts written about communication that reflect more kindness, understanding and love.
There is a book by Gary Chapman called “Love Languages” that may help identify what kind of package love needs to be delivered for you to receive it. Also check this out (downloadable PDF) about engaged, heart-centered feedback from Brene Brown.
Blessing to you and yours!